aries: I am the party

taurus: always brings the best quality liquor

gemini: knows everyone there 

cancer: you should drink more water

leo: too glam to give a damn

virgo: let me organize the beer pong cups

libra: good mix drink or gtfo

scorpio: I don’t need tequila to have a personality

sagittarius: people use chasers ?

capricorn: the designated driver

aquarius: the babysitter

pisces: *brushes teeth with a bottle of jack*